. . . master of some.

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 09:39:29 GMT

Hey, where the heck did I hear this?

"If you can't be a good example you might as well be a horrible warning."

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 12:19:14 GMT

What the fuck?!?! Have you people not been paying attention over the last four years? Did you not watch the same debates I did?

Four more years for these criminals to damage our country even more. Great, thanks.

Here's an idea

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 07:09:48 GMT

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about the United States' dependance on petroleum. It seems to me that we need not continue this dependance.

In 1961, JFK announced a race to the moon to be completed by the end of the decade. The scientific community rose to the challenge and invented all the technology needed to accomplish this goal. While the merits of going to the moon are debatable, this feat of science serves as an interesting case study into what can be accomplished when political will is put behind a scientific goal.

To that end I believe that if the US government were to announce that we are to be completely off oil for our energy needs within the next ten years something very similar would occur. The benefits would be huge for our economy and our national security. Instead of American money going overseas to pay for oil, it would stay here for alternative fuel production. All alternative fuels currently in testing are infinitely better for the environment than petroleum based products. Without our dependance on foreign oil there would be no need for our troops to be stationed in countries that harbor and produce terrorists.

I can see no reason why we wouldn't want to do this.

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 23:12:41 GMT

I can't believe how much I love the Office Max "Brother Man" commercials. That dude is just too cool!

Gragh!

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 23:07:05 GMT

Why the hell do all Father's Day cards have to be about the stereotypical dad? They all have golf or fishing or hunting or the inability to ask for directions featured prominently in their themes. My father has none of these interests or traits, yet every year I'm confronted with the same bullshit when trying to pick out a card for him. I'm damn sick of it.

Fri, 14 May 2004 07:15:30 GMT

New favorite quote:

"If I woke up looking like that, I would run toward the nearest living thing and kill it."
--Master Shake

Sun, 09 May 2004 03:06:42 GMT

So, when I was a kid I remember being told that my fellow man is obsessed with his penis. To support this fact the shape of missiles, airplanes and even some sports cars were presented as proof. Of course, to this proof I thought, "but those are just aerodynamic designs. Vagina shaped missiles would act as ram scoops and slow the projectile down." So, I quickly dismissed such theories of penile obsession as fantasy.

Now, when watching late night TV, or SpikeTV (Television for Men), I can't seem to go a single commercial break without seeing at least one advertisement for a pill that will make my penis larger, harder or instantly ready at any time of the day or night. Seeing this obsession cast in the light of incessant advertising I feel that missile shape need never be used as proof again.

I also can't help but wonder what diseases might now be cured if people weren't researching the problems of the penis. "Hey bob, you figure out that cure of diabetes you were working on?"

"No William, I couldn't get it up last night, so now I'm trying to figure out a drug that'll keep that from ever happening again!"

"Brilliant! Let me know when you figure it out, I'm sure those diabetics can survive for a little while longer."

"Will do!"

Now, I'm not sure this is exactly how it went. Perhaps Bob was working on a cure for cancer or herpes or colitis, who knows. The point is, embarrassment at occasional flaccidity is not terminal. Hell, permanent flaccidity isn't terminal.

Okay, I'm done now.

Sun, 02 May 2004 02:43:44 GMT

Is there anything better than a 13 week old kitten chasing a ping-pong? I'm going to have to say no.

Sat, 03 Apr 2004 23:16:40 GMT

What do you find most disturbing about David Hasselhoff?

I'm going to go with the body hair.

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 08:21:59 GMT

Oh and if you want to have the bejesus scared out of you, go see Dawn of the Dead. One of the most horrifying movies I've seen in a very long time.

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 01:29:20 GMT

Just so I understand this right.

Lie about a blowjob: Get impeached.

Lie about the reasons to go to war: No penalties at all.

Looky what emode thinks o' my brain

Sun, 29 Feb 2004 01:51:49 GMT

Your IQ score is 140

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Visionary Philosopher. This means you are highly intelligent and have a powerful mix of skills and insight that can be applied in a variety of different ways. Like Plato, your exceptional math and verbal skills make you very adept at explaining things to others - and at anticipating and predicting patterns. And that's just some of what we know about you from your IQ results.

They say if I give them money they'll tell me more about how smart I am. What they don't realize is that I'm too smart to fall for that.

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 02:44:47 GMT

Anyone else feel the sudden urge to buy a nice long rifle?

Hey you!

Wed, 07 Jan 2004 09:17:27 GMT

Look what I found:

"Gradual reduction, or loss, of taste and smell appears to be an unfortunate but normal part of aging," Schiffman said, "but they also accompany illnesses or conditions such as multiple sclerosis, Bell's palsy, head injury, diabetes, liver and kidney diseases, hypertension, and zinc or niacin [vitamin B3] deficiency." Other correlates of these sensory deficits Dr. Schiffman noted were Alzheimer's disease, tobacco smoking, surgical interventions, certain dental conditions such as infected teeth and gums, and cerebral tumors. "These disorders," Schiffman said, "modify food choices and dietary habits -- either favorably or not -- but most of them exacerbate diseases or nutritional deficiencies."

So cut down on the salt and up the zinc and B3. You know how I love those B viatmins!

Emode should really not encourage me.

Wed, 07 Jan 2004 09:08:38 GMT

From their "Classic IQ Test"

During the test, you answered four different types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial, linguistic and logical. We were able to analyze how you did on each set of those questions, which reveals the way your brain uniquely works.

We also compared your answers with others who have taken the test, and according to the sorts of questions you got correct, we can tell your Intellectual Type is a Facts Curator.

This means you are highly intelligent and have picked up an impressive and unique collection of facts and figures over the years. You've got a remarkable vocabulary and exceptional math skills — which puts you in the same class as brainiacs like Bill Gates. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Whooo!

Wed, 17 Dec 2003 10:28:00 GMT

Classes are over! Commence marathon ass-sitting session!

Oh, and today's Futurama on Adult Swim was so sweet it made me cry.

I was just reminded of this again...

Fri, 12 Dec 2003 16:45:03 GMT

Want more proof that the people who decide what goes on TV suck ass?

Sliders ran for years.
Space: Above and Beyond ran for half a season.

If you've seen them, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Oh, and then there's also Firefly don't EVEN get me started!

Memories

Thu, 11 Dec 2003 09:26:39 GMT

For some reason that commercial where the woman makes a knife out of a paper plate to show how easy it is to spread cake frosting popped into my head today. I remember that commercial so damn well, and I'm wondering why nobody seems to be marketing frosting any longer. Have they just given up?

I'm pretty sure we still buy frosting. Are we just winging it when we go into the grocery store these days? What if all I have is a paper plate at home and I need to know which frosting I'll still be able to spread despite my lack of spreading utensils? I don't remember which frosting to choose! It was the late seventies when you told me and I was just a wee little boy!

Unfair

Etiquette

Wed, 10 Dec 2003 07:13:43 GMT

How can you possibly think it's okay to put your wet umbrella on an empty seat on the train?!?!

Oh yeah...

Mon, 08 Dec 2003 10:02:03 GMT

So as some of you may know, my graduate student career had a most inauspicious beginning (I basically missed the first week and a half of class). So when I went to my first advising session at the beginning of the semester my advisor, also one of my professors, was rather less than impressed with me. It was clear that he thought I was a slacker and a loser, and that I couldn't possibly have misread the calendar and honestly thought that classes didn't begin until the next week.

Well, this same professor the other day was in the computer science office at the same time I was and we had a little chat. This is how it went:

Prof. "Hey, I was just thinking back to the beginning of the term today."
Me. "Oh yeah? Have I redeemed myself?"
Prof. "Yeah, I'm glad you're in my class."

Made me feel good.

Why does MIT have to rock so much?

Mon, 08 Dec 2003 08:15:51 GMT

You may be aware of MIT's Open Course Ware initiative, but have you seen what kind of cool shit they offer through it?

Weird dreams

Sun, 07 Dec 2003 22:07:10 GMT

I don't want to elaborate, but I don't want to forget the dream, so I'm leaving myself some mnemonic clues here.

friend
situation
odd
head wants to explode

Oo-oo-oo!

Sun, 07 Dec 2003 20:40:39 GMT

Last week of the semester starts tomorrow! Gonna be nice to be done, 'cause then I have FIVE weeks off! Woo-hoo!

Looking forward to much sitting on my ass, putting my feet up and kickin' the ol' mind into neutral. What I'm going to do with the other 33 days is anyone's guess. ^_^

Oh yeah, I guess I'm doing some travelling in there too. Wheeeeeee!

Fading

Tue, 11 Nov 2003 09:50:09 GMT

Feel stretched
translucent
like an onion peel under a microscope

But it's not bad.

A few months ago
on NPR a question was posed
If you could fly
or be invisible at will
which would you choose?

I can't stop thinking about that question.
I would love to be able to fly
but invisibility is SO seductive.

The thing is, on NPR they mentioned how flight was chosen for noble reasons, and invisibility generally for more nefarious reasons.

I think NPR told me I'm evil.

I like my butter roll buttered softly....

Sun, 09 Nov 2003 03:01:48 GMT

I'll be in NYC Jan. 10 - Jan. 19. I'll try to behave myself.